"I've got nothing to do." WHAT?!?!

You thought I forgot about you, didn't you? Nope, not at all ... just somehow, amongst all the things on my overloaded plate, you ended up under everything and you know what they say, right? "Out of sight, out of mind ..."

Well, that's not exactly true ... I always saw a corner of you peeking through from underneath all my other things, wondering when I'd pay some attention to you.

So here I am, finally posting after an overextended unintentional hiatus ... not that there's less on my plate these days, oh no, nooo ... (the Universe has a strange way of piling things up real high for me), but I've now more than surpassed my own limit of negligence.

So, with a huge, humble, and very sincere "I'm sorry," I hope you will forgive me for my inattentiveness to you, my dear reader.

Interestingly enough, this apology leads me right into today's subject ...

I've never understood how people can say, "I've got nothing to do."

Heck, I've got so many things to do, I wish my body didn't need sleep and in fact, have even had to forego sleep to get *some* of the things off my plate ... Sleep is overrated, but I so much like to dream, sigh.

Life is so incredibly fascinating and we are privileged to have such an ample array of activities and interests to choose from to discover, explore and learn. I guess not everyone will be keen to seek things out themselves but there are a lot of social groups that exist to help the less motivated or timid people out ...

How about http://www.meetup.com/? One can join individual groups based on interests and each group runs its own activities. Each city has its own groups. Nice way to meet new people who already share something in common.

One I prefer more though is http://www.meetin.org/. One huge group divided into city subgroups from all over the world, but principally North America. Anyone can post an activity and all are invited to attend. A fun and exciting way to meet new people and make new friends as well as be exposed to new activities, experiences, foods, and life perspectives. Great for travelling as well ... not sure what to do in a new city and/or you find yourself travelling alone? Just check that city's board for event listings. I met a cool girl from Germany once through one of Meetin's events and we're still in touch!

Best of all, both websites offer free sign-up ... the only costs are the event costs that you attend!

If you're too shy to try an online social networking group, how about just signing up for or attending a new or familiar activity/group ... for sure you'll meet others and have fun exploring and learning together, with or without your friends:

- hiking
- dancing (swing, ballroom, latin ... no, contrary to popular belief, you do NOT have to sign up with a partner ... classes usually rotate partners)
- rock-climbing
- badminton
- beach volleyball
- Dragon boat racing
- arts and crafts
- choir
- and many others!

How about self-improvement things?

- learn to play a musical intrument (guitar, piano ... kazoo, yes that counts)
- learn a new skill (gardening, renovation, cooking ... when you get good at them, I'll invite you over to help me around my house and then you can make me supper ;-)
- learn to paint or draw or make cool pottery items that you can give away as presents
- learn woodworking and cabinetry ... I just love the smell of wood!
- read, read, read ... fiction, non-fiction ... sure, even delve into spirituality and psychology ... too many good books to list here but I've got two of Eckhart Tolle's books in my reading pile
- re-organize your closet
- re-organize your office
- yes, you CAN throw those things out, recycle them or give them away!

Or how about just simple general things?

- call a friend
- see a friend
- watch a film
- visit a bookstore
- in fact, visit any kind of store
- go for walk on the sidewalk, avoiding all cracks so you don't break your mother's back
- go to the museum
- go explore a part of the city you don't know
- go explore a part of the city you DO know
- write some poetry
- write a book (okay, perhaps this is more my thing than yours)
- hem that pile of pants sitting patiently in your dresser drawer for the past year (wait, that's definitely more my thing than yours too ... I think ;-)
- clean ypur house (or my house if you really want to)
- play some board games
- or if you're not into that, how about some "adult games", hehehe ...
- sing
- sing a song
- sing out loud
- sing out strong
- sing of good things, not bad
- sing of happy, not sad
- blog (wait, maybe that's more me again) ... or how about, write me at contact@irongoddess.ca and I'll blog about YOU!
- take a nap
- take a bubble bath
- sip some wine
- why not, go ahead, glug the whole bottle down!
- take care of your backlog of emails
- browse the internet
- if you're single (or even if you're not), go browse the internet dating sites and daydream a bit
- go fly a kite ... literally! Weeee!

I could go on and on and on ... life is full of a kajillion billion interesting things to do! Okay, perhaps there are some things I'd rather not do ... like my taxes, or clean the toilet, or wash the windows ... but other than that, the list is ENDLESS.

So let's do some thinking and reframing the next time you're ready to say, "I've got nothing to do."

Have fun ... life is what you make it ... now go out there and never be bored again!

He just ain't worth the heartache, babe!

Dear Irongoddess,

My boyfriend and I recently broke up. Like we didn't date that long or anything, just a few months, but I was so in love with him. I mean REALLY in love with him like I've never been with anyone else! Now I'm so sad and I cry everyday. I really miss him, and all the things we used to do together. I've been reading up about relationships and wish I could figure out a way to get him back ... Please tell me what to do!

Sincerely,
Katie from OH

*******************************************************

Dear Katie,

For sure you're gonna hurt from the breakup. It's not just about the heartache caused from love lost but also from FUTURE love lost ... it's from an investment into dreams or a potential future together.

You don't mention in your letter any details with regards to your break-up so I'll just conclude for sake of ease that the relationship wasn't working for either of you (otherwise, you'd still be together, right?)

I'm sorry to hear that you still feel sad and wish I could wipe away your tears, but you must now stop and ask yourself how do you REALLY feel instead of how do you THINK you feel?

If he broke up because he wasn't in love with him, is it worth pining away for someone who doesn't love you with all his heart? You're WAY more special than that, girlfriend. It's simple, you should never have to convince a man to love you.

And if you were the one to break it up since you didn't like how he was treating you, well kudos to you! Breaking up while still loving someone is very difficult to do, but you did the right thing ... you must love YOURSELF first!

We teach others how we need and want to be treated ... What part of him do you want back? Just the parts that made you feel good? That made you laugh or feel special? What about all the icky parts of him that made you feel unloved and sad and not very special to him? Being with him means being with ALL PARTS of him. Would you be ready to put up with that for the rest of your life?

I think you need to examine whether you are still in love with him, or perhaps you just miss the fun things about being with him. Do you miss all the times when you felt lousy as well? It's like being a drug addict ... is a short quick high worth all that horrible down period? Perhaps you don't even miss HIM, you just miss having a fun, loving relationship.

Ask yourself, were you really in love with the Present Him (which includes all his faults) or the Potential Him (the one who would change since he loved you so much)? He is who he is, sweetie, and you will never be able change him. Only he can do that, and only for his own reasons.

I say, move on, take the time to spoil yourself. You have so much love to give, and now it's time to LOVE YOURSELF!

Don't feel ashamed to be selfish with your love, especially while you're healing ... do things that make you happy, whatever they may be! Seeing friends, going to shows, working out, shopping, meeting new men, whatever makes you feel good. Soon enough the days will pass, your heart will heal, and you will realise more and more how unhappy you felt while dating your ex, and how much he wasn't right for you. He'll even slip out of your mind completely, but by that time, you won't even notice!

Just remind yourself that everything in life happens for a reason, and that you can't have room in your heart for Mr. Right if you're still hanging on to Mr. Wrong. Don't worry, he WILL come along ;-)

Cheers,
The Irongoddess

p.s. Here's a great little video ... be strong, and LOVE YOURSELF!

Interesting video ... hmmm

This short Swedish clip speaks for itself ... let me know what you think!

The Hero

Is this the next sexy fad?

I went onto Craigslist recently to see what was new with "Men Seeking Women" and found these ...

I don't get it! What is with the headless naked torso?

I don't know one women who has ever ooohed and aaahed from photos like these. Women actually find well-dressed torsos with handsome faces attached MUCH sexier!

Alright, it's clear which shots are self-portraits, but the others ... hmmm ... can you imagine what is going through the photographer's mind? But even worse than headless naked torso pics are those hard cock close-up shots ... yes, oh so enticing!

Men, wake up! No, most women do NOT want to look at headless naked pics of you to choose their ideal mate or even lover. They're just plain gross and tacky. And more likely, it'll be other men checking you out ... think about it guys ...

What we take for granted ...

I had a nasty fall in January and broke the greater tuberosity of my left humerus, can you see it?


Does this help?


The shoulder joint is the most complex one in the body, one that involves many movements, and needless to say, the recovery has been extremely difficult, and in fact, at times, excruciatingly painful. I am only just now off pain meds, eight weeks later.

So now that I'm finally out of my sling, I am deep in physiotherapy to increase my shoulder's range of motion (everything "locked up" to protect the bone) and have recently started strength exercises with one and three pound weights. Yes, you read that right! One and three pound weights. Still can't pull my car door shut nor my fridge door open with my left arm and don't dare push, pull or carry anything, even my purse. The bone needs another month to harden ...

The six weeks I was in my sling was a real eye-opener as I suddenly became one-armed.

It was difficult to get dressed and wash myself, and in general, take care of myself. I couldn't hold my toast properly to spread things on it. I couldn't chop up food. I still can't open a new water bottle since my left arm is not strong enough to tolerate the torque necessary to remove the cap. I couldn't sleep well or maneouvre around easily, the pain and discomfort was absolutely horrible.

While I was in my sling, I had to type with one hand, which I, a 60 wpm typist, found excruciatingly slow. I poured half the bottle of shampoo on my head the first time I washed my hair by myself ... this I rectified the next time by pouring shampoo on my leg and swooping it up quickly with my right hand, once freed of the bottle.

I gave up trying to lather my right arm, shoulder and back properly but discovered that I could rub body lotion on my right side by first putting some on my leg and then bending over, twisting my right arm and shoulder all over it. Discouraged that I could no longer put my hair in a ponytail, I learned to use my right arm and hand with the aid of a table to put my hair into a clip.

Now I'm two-handed again and I am thrilled that I have my *mobility* back. Full recovery is many weeks away ... lots of physio appointments and exercises still to go but I can type with both hands again. I can cook too. I have now removed the extra pillow that propped my shoulder up in bed, locking me into one position, and am slowly readapting to sleeping in other positions, within my pain limit.

I still can't scrape the ice off my car but I am happy that I can do up my coat, now that my slinged arm is no longer in the way. I'm relieved that I've got my balance back and can walk around outside without risk of losing my balance and falling on the snow and ice that was present during the past months.

But all these difficulties I encountered don't mean a thing in the grand perspective of life except to show me to embrace what I am able to do. Take a look at this video about Nick Vujicic, a man born without any limbs ... incredible and inspirational!



I am on the road to a full recovery and back to blogging, yay! If you can, try not to break your shoulder now, my dear readers ...

"Don't ask yourself and see what you don't have, see what you do have ..."
- Nick Vujicic

Life is too precious ...

48 Hours on Craigslist: An Interview with Mr. Maybe

Alright folks, it's a New Year and I've somehow skipped over the Holiday Season. How? Well, maybe it had something to do with this or maybe this ...

Frolicking with friends in the French Alps does hold a certain distraction :-D

Alright, alright ... now that we've determined the real issue of my non-blogging, I will accept total responsibility and catch you up on something I started last summer.

I am a lost sheep returning to the fold ... it is the New Year, right? ... Right? All is forgiven?

*********************************************************

Mr. Maybe agreed to meet me in a café/bar in a trendy part of town. He was actually already there when I arrived.

Promptness ... check!

I sat down on the bar stool beside him in front of the window and immediately fell off. I promptly moved the interview to a cosy little table where I couldn't embarrass myself further ... I am the Irongoddess after all and can't be seen sprawled across the floor of a public establishment!

Profile of Mr. Maybe (aka "Rodger"):

- slim, well-dressed man, early 30's, European background
- tidy appearance and hairstyle, clean-shaven

Presentation ... check!

- likes his job, works as an analyst but is far from being a computer geek
- soft-spoken, very polite
- never been married, no children
- hasn't been in a serious relationship for several years but is open to "seeing where things go", from a short fling to settling down ... doesn't believe in having a double standard if things start out on a more physical note (yes, he would see the girl again!)

Open-minded, comfortable with himself, non-judgmental ... check!

- recreational jogger and cyclist

Fit ... check!

- has been cooking for himself since he moved out 10 years ago ... "I can't live on peanut butter sandwiches!"
- cooking and cleaning have become habits over the years and they have in fact evolved into relaxing activities. Rodger takes comfort and pride in managing his home.

Cooking and cleaning ... CHECK!!!

Mr. Maybe's online dating history:

- Rodger's been dabbling with online dating for a year but has only been on Craigslist for the past 8-9 months
- a friend of his set up a profile for him on Plenty of Fish, but he prefers Craigslist over the other dating websites as it's easier (one-stop website) and he finds it entertaining ("like watching an episode of Seinfeld")
- uses a "form letter response" which he personalises according to the women's posts

- though he didn't remember what I'd written in my fake online post , he usually looks for the following qualities: easy-going, fun, nothing overtly sexual, someone who likes activities
- usually, there is something in particular that will trigger a response from him as he doesn't have a finite shopping list
- has so far only met a few women off the internet, but no one interesting enough to continue dating
- like me, he also asks the question, "Why would a guy want to take a picture of his own cock and why would a woman want to see it?" CHECK!!

Mr. Maybe's dating preferences:

- as Rodger comes from a large traditional household (8 kids!), he'd prefer a more traditional relationship with stereotypical male/female roles ... perhaps this is just "old school" conditioning according to him

- he admits though that he's not handy at all around the house and it's not essential that his partner cook
- he's remarked that in some of his friend's relationships, some of the women seem lost if they are not in the traditional role, but for himself, what counts most is that "at the end of the day, things have to get done."
- though he could date a sporty girl, he wouldn't want someone who was competitive
- Rodger likes girly-girls and actually finds their materialistic shopping habits kinda sexy, probably because he prefers a well-dressed, stylish, refined woman who takes pride in her appearance
- likes a confident woman who is not afraid in expressing who she is

Mr. Maybe's 5 words to describe Ms. Right:

Pretty, perky, intelligent, focused and fit

Mr. Maybe's 5 words to describe himself:

Easy-going, confident, funny, family and friend-oriented

Overall, I found Mr. Maybe to be quite pleasant and was amazed when he was astute enough to recognize the perfume I was wearing ("White Musk" from the Body Shop) ... AND he paid for my coffee! What a gentleman!

Closing comment on his first email to me:

"Although I like to cook for others, it may be best that we meet at a restaurant first to show you I am not a weirdo!!!"

A very sweet, sincere and charming fella, a little quirky but in a good way, and assuredly Mr. Right for some lucky girl out there ... write me if you're interested!

Happy Thanksgiving!

This is hilarious!! Well at least *I* think so ... Hope you had a wonderful day celebrating with friends and family :-)

Why not do tomorrow what I can do today?

As some of you may have noticed, I haven't been keeping up with my blogging ... so for today's posting I thought I'd write about PROCRASTINATION:

From www.dictionary.com:

pro⋅cras⋅ti⋅nate
 
–verb (used without object)
1.
to defer action; delay: to procrastinate until an opportunity is lost.

–verb (used with object)
2.
to put off till another day or time; defer; delay.


From www. quotegarden.com:

Nothing is so fatiguing as the eternal hanging on of an uncompleted task. ~William James

Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday. ~Don Marquis

Only Robinson Crusoe had everything done by Friday. ~Author Unknown

Every duty which is bidden to wait returns with seven fresh duties at its back. ~Charles Kingsley

The sooner I fall behind, the more time I have to catch up. ~Author Unknown

If it weren't for the last minute, I wouldn't get anything done. ~Author Unknown

Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at that moment. ~Robert Benchley

There are a million ways to lose a work day, but not even a single way to get one back. ~Tom DeMarco and Timothy Lister

It is an undoubted truth, that the less one has to do, the less time one finds to do it in. ~Earl of Chesterfield

The two rules of procrastination: 1) Do it today. 2) Tomorrow will be today tomorrow. ~Author Unknown

One of the greatest labor-saving inventions of today is tomorrow. ~Vincent T. Foss

You may delay, but time will not. ~Benjamin Franklin

Someday is not a day of the week. ~Author Unknown

To think too long about doing a thing often becomes its undoing. ~Eva Young

Don't fool yourself that important things can be put off till tomorrow; they can be put off forever, or not at all. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

Work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion. ~C. Northcote Parkinson, 1958

Procrastination is opportunity's assassin. ~Victor Kiam

If you want to make an easy job seem mighty hard, just keep putting off doing it. ~Olin Miller

What may be done at any time will be done at no time. ~Scottish Proverb

There's nothing to match curling up with a good book when there's a repair job to be done around the house. ~Joe Ryan

Procrastination is something best put off until tomorrow. ~Gerald Vaughan

The best way to get something done is to begin. ~Author Unknown

You know you are getting old when it takes too much effort to procrastinate. ~Author Unknown

I do my work at the same time each day - the last minute. ~Author Unknown

Tomorrow is often the busiest day of the week. ~Spanish Proverb

The time to begin most things is ten years ago. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

Putting off an easy thing makes it hard. Putting off a hard thing makes it impossible. ~George Claude Lorimer

Tomorrow is the day when idlers work, and fools reform. ~Edward Young

Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow. ~Mark Twain

Tomorrow is the only day in the year that appeals to a lazy man. ~Jimmy Lyons

A year from now you may wish you had started today. ~Karen Lamb

Procrastination is like masturbation. At first it feels good, but in the end you're only screwing yourself. ~Author unknown, possibly from Monty Python?

One of these days is none of these days. ~Attributed to both Henri Tubach and H.G. Bohn

Procrastination is the thief of time. ~Edward Young


I have lots more to say about the subject of procrastination, but I think I'll post about that tomorrow ...

To thong or not to thong ...

Dear Readers,

I actually owe you an interview I conducted as Part III to "48 Hours on Craigslist" but needless to say, I've been a little um ... delinquent with posting, not that I don't have a ton of topics to write about ...

I recently did some underwear shopping.

Some women like to wear thongs, myself included. Actually, let me clarify that, I like to wear both thongs and bikinis (no Grandma briefs though!) The advantage of wearing a thong is "no panty lines" but a horrible trend that I've noticed in women's panties is the amount of spandex in the fabrics.

I tell you, there ain't nothing worse than an "elastic band" creeping up into your ass. What ever happened to pure cotton thongs?

Consumer Gripe #1: If only I had known ...

I bought some facial tissues the other day. Great, they were on sale, "Scotties" brand too ... S-O-F-T ... nice ...

Yeah, until I opened the box and used one. I didn't know Scotties made sandpaper with such fine grade. "EnviroCare" they call it.

Just have to get through all six boxes now ... Well, at least there are only 152 tissues per box, not the usual 200.

48 hours on Craigslist: The Results, Part II

First of all, my apologies for the tardiness of the results to my nifty social experiment ... been taking advantage of summer, that is, inbetween all the rain.

Alright ... in June, I posted "48 hours on Craigslist" where I placed two ads on Craigslist, one asking for a "forever-and-ever" type of relationship, the other asking for raunchy NSA sex (that's "no-strings-attached", folks). In my previous post, I delivered my findings on the second ad ... now it's time to examine the results to the first one:

Looking for Mr. Right - w4m - 33

Young professional ready to settle down and concentrate on the bigger picture. Would definitely love to start a family. I've devoted most of my 20's to studying and my career, putting my love life on hold. Now I'm ready to explore and discover what's out there!

I like candle-lit suppers, long walks in nature, and relaxed Sunday mornings with coffee and a good book. Though people might describe me as shy and reserved, I'm actually quite adventurous with the right person if I feel comfortable enough. I'm not super into fitness but do enjoy cycling and rollerblading from time to time and try to live a healthy lifestyle, though I do like nice wines.

Hoping you are out there somewhere, waiting for me, to start a caring, loving relationship based on honesty, respect and true intimacy ... xo

While composing this ad, I tried to write from the point of view of an intelligent, sweet, not-too-experienced girl ... someone a little shy and unpresuming but had direction and wouldn't intimidate most men with her interests or activities. I tried to list common things that most people would like, making her blend easily into or compliment most lifestyles.

Basically, I tried to make her as "vanilla" as possible without making her appear too boring.

The only element that I added to throw a guy off was her strong desire to find that "knight in shining armour", settle down and have kids, something which gives most men who just want to have a "good time" the heebie-jeebies.

Surprisingly, I received 21 letters, two within the first hour of posting on Craigslist! Are there really this many men out there who are looking for a meaningful relationship?

Could the ratio of men who want Commitment vs. Casual Sex really be as high as 1:5?
*Based on the responses received by both Craigslist postings

Here are the stats:

• Of the 61.9% that stated their age, the average was 33.9, the youngest being 25, and the oldest being 52 (I'm listed in my ad as 33.)
• 47.6% of the letters contained spelling or grammatical errors
• 14.3% of the respondents sent pics ... yes, of their faces, no body shots (a total of three men)

Mind you, taking a closer look at the emails received, I quickly realised that the majority of the men who responded were not actually interested in a relationship. They were looking for an audience or an admirer ... as I surmised from the almost total lack of interest in what I'd written in my Craigslist ad.

Many of the emails were evidently form letters, monologues about these men, who they were and what they wanted. Only a few made even a single comment about what they found interesting about my CL post which was that they too had left relationships on the backburner for too long.

Shortest email to try to woo me ... I almost fainted when I realised I'd found my soulmate at last! :

hi
whats your stats
professional 30m asian

Then of course, my heart skipped a beat when I read this gentlemen's email:

"I am the one you are looking"

Hello! I am a Professional black man looking for a female who loves to kiss , make love , love to get oral sex ,do fun things together and be in business together, maybe have a family and someone who I can trust ,preferably, for fun and cool conversation ...

Maybe he is "The One?" Like, what woman doesn't like to receive oral sex? JACKPOT!

Well, if I decide that he is not The One, then surely one of the other eight women he group emailed would think so. And if they don't think so, then maybe some other woman on Craigslist would think so. This man gets credit for his efficiency ... he sent out his CL ad verbatim as his love letter. Like, why fiddle with perfection?

Of course though, if I wanted to satisfy both my "carnal sexual hedonistic" AND "sweet innocent commitment-seeking" sides, I could always go for this guy, who wrote back to both of my CL ads:

Hi there!
I am D***. I am 25 and live in montreal. So you are horny. Can you keep it longer enough. Like all night. Are you sexualy strong enough. If you are i am up for it. write me back. if you are interested. Take care have fun. BYE

HI there!
I am D*** from Montreal. I am 25 years old. My height is 5,6 INC. My weight is 145POUNDS. I work in au auto garage 5 days a week and have weekend off. My hobbies are going on a long walk, music, movies, swimming, walking, and playing soccer. I go to GYM time to time. I love to laugh and make other people laugh. I am very talkative person. Thats all about me. If there is anything you would like to know about me just ask me. I would be more happy to answer your question. Thanks for reading my email. You have a wonderful day. Take care BYE

Well, maybe not ... that second letter seems a little monologuish and doesn't even show me that he's even read my ad ... (don't make the same mistake with internet dating, fellas!)

But I did receive one particularly interesting letter and was actually quite impressed with it ... I'm not at liberty to disclose the entire letter, but let's just say that he ended one fun paragraph with:

So it seems within the last 24h (or next 2) pretty did all the things you enjoyed based on your description!!!

Wow ... I had to meet him!

I wrote to him and explained that I was doing a social experiment ... would he consent to an interview? Stayed tuned for the next post as the Irongoddess interviews Mr. Maybe.

48 hours on Craigslist: The Results, Part I

Here's the second ad posted on Craigslist in my recent post "48 hours on Craigslist":

I want to suck your cock - w4m - 24
Looking to be gang-banged. I'm feeling very horny and I want you now. Apply within.

For those who are not familiar with Craigslist, that "24" you see in the title is the poster's age (or the age one chooses to indicate for his/her ad).

I was actually surprised by the number of emails I received, especially since the ad was flagged and subsequently removed during a three-hour window Friday evening. When I discovered the deletion, I reposted in a different section "Casual Encounters" and allowed a few email responses to slip into my INBOX after the 48 hour window to make up for some of the time the ad was missing from Craigslist.

Here are my results:

A total of 92 emails were received:
- 85 emails came from unique email addresses, meaning 7 people wrote twice
- 93 people in all responded, 91 men and 2 women. All interested parties mentioned in the emails were counted, for example, in the email with the subject heading "three jamaican guys", I count 3 men ...

• "hi im 5'9 180lbs 9 iches and goodlooking and the other two guys are about the same and were all hung get back if you want more info between all of us you would be getting at least 28 inches in all so get back sweets"

- 5 emails from mutiples were received, including two of which came from couples (male/female) looking for threesomes

• "would you rather have a 3some with my husband..pls. I really need your help. "

4 men responded within the first 15 min. of the ad being posted
- 14 emails were received the first hour after the ad was posted
- the 1st email was received 5 min. after the ad was posted; the man didn't believe the ad was real and asked for proof. Because I did not respond nor spam him, I'm hoping he got to thinking he got excluded from the fun because of his cynicism. Hehehe ...
- the 2nd email was sent 8 min. after the ad was posted and included the following cock photo (pink censoring courtesy of moi, of course :-) I've never understood why men think pics of their cocks turn women on. In fact, I actually don't even know any heterosexual female who likes them. Go figure. He's got some nice abs though ... oooh!

Photos received:
- 8 cock pics, including the one above
- 3 chest pics
- 14 face pics, and some of the guys were cute! The others, um ... less so.

Other stats:
- 2 respondents sent their phone numbers
- 30 men gave their age, the average age being 26.4, and the oldest respondent being 37

I received all sorts of responses, many one or two liners, some with short paragraphs looking for an ongoing lover, and some describing themselves a little ... too much.

One respondent described an army barrack fantasy involving him and his 14 platoon mates over an entire weekend, which would include non-stop sexual action/service, a game called "Spin the Slut", and a pool table. Actually, what a sweet officer, I'm quite impressed ...

• "Like I said since I found you, you will rest in my bed, for one on one with me, and you can rest."

What do you think ... should I respond?

May you rest in peace, Mr. Michael Jackson

Michael Joseph Jackson (August 29, 1958 – June 25, 2009)

I was immensely saddened by the passing of Michael Jackson. A brilliant musician and dancer, he contributed in so many ways to the world and tried to make it a better place. Often ridiculed and criticised during the last few years for his elusiveness and eccentricity, I don't think the world was fair to him.

What's wrong with being different?

Absolutely nothing.

Michael Jackson was far from perfect, just like the rest of us, but he was a good man, generous, compassionate, and a good father, very loving and protective, doing his best to shield his children from the vicious scrutiny of the public eye, one that examined him on a daily basis.

And though he had millions of fans, it is sad to know that he was often depicted negatively in the media spotlight and did not get enough recognition or love for who he needed to be ...

MJ, may you rest in peace. My heart and soul goes out to you and your children ... Thank you for being exactly the person you were, thank you for your love, and thank you for so unselfishly sharing your genius with us.

Love and light,

The Irongoddess



"Man In The Mirror"

I'm Gonna Make A Change,
For Once In My Life
It's Gonna Feel Real Good,
Gonna Make A Difference
Gonna Make It Right . . .

As I, Turn Up The Collar On My
Favourite Winter Coat
This Wind Is Blowin' My Mind
I See The Kids In The Street,
With Not Enough To Eat
Who Am I, To Be Blind?
Pretending Not To See
Their Needs
A Summer's Disregard,
A Broken Bottle Top
And A One Man's Soul
They Follow Each Other On
The Wind Ya' Know
'Cause They Got Nowhere
To Go
That's Why I Want You To
Know

I'm Starting With The Man In
The Mirror
I'm Asking Him To Change
His Ways
And No Message Could Have
Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World
A Better Place
(If You Wanna Make The
World A Better Place)
Take A Look At Yourself, And
Then Make A Change
(Take A Look At Yourself, And
Then Make A Change)
(Na Na Na, Na Na Na, Na Na,
Na Nah)

I've Been A Victim Of A Selfish
Kind Of Love
It's Time That I Realize
That There Are Some With No
Home, Not A Nickel To Loan
Could It Be Really Me,
Pretending That They're Not
Alone?

A Willow Deeply Scarred,
Somebody's Broken Heart
And A Washed-Out Dream
(Washed-Out Dream)
They Follow The Pattern Of
The Wind, Ya' See
Cause They Got No Place
To Be
That's Why I'm Starting With
Me
(Starting With Me!)

48 hours on Craigslist

I've decided to conduct a little social experiment on Craigslist ...

I've previously covered "men-seeking-women". Now, how about "women-seeking-men"?

I'm posting the following two ads today, Friday, at 6:00 pm and will take them down on Sunday at 6:00 pm. Let's see what kind of responses these illicit ... dum de dum ... ;-)

1)

Looking for Mr. Right - w4m - 33

Young professional ready to settle down and concentrate on the bigger picture. Would definitely love to start a family. I've devoted most of my 20's to studying and my career, putting my love life on hold. Now I'm ready to explore and discover what's out there!

I like candle-lit suppers, long walks in nature, and relaxed Sunday mornings with coffee and a good book. Though people might describe me as shy and reserved, I'm actually quite adventurous with the right person if I feel comfortable enough. I'm not super into fitness but do enjoy cycling and rollerblading from time to time and try to live a healthy lifestyle, though I do like nice wines.

Hoping you are out there somewhere, waiting for me, to start a caring, loving relationship based on honesty, respect and true intimacy ... xo

2)

I want to suck your cock - w4m - 24

Looking to be gang-banged. I'm feeling very horny and I want you now. Apply within.

Open Up Your Heart and Let the Sunshine In ...

Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm sure knew a thing or two ...



Mommy told me something
a little kid should know.
It's all about the devil
and I've learned to hate him so.
She said he causes trouble
when you let him in the room.
He will never ever leave you
if your heart is filled with gloom.

So let the sun shine in
face it with a grin.
Smilers never lose
and frowners never win.
So le the sun shine in
face it with a grin
Open up your heart and let the sun shine in.

When you are unhappy,
the devil wears a grin
But oh, he starts to running
when the light comes pouring in
I know he'll be unhappy
'Cause I'll never wear a frown
Maybe if we keep on smiling
He'll get tired of hanging 'round.

If I forget to say my prayers
the devil wears a grin.
But he feels so awful awful
when he sees me on my knees
So if you're full of trouble
and you never seem to win,
Just open up your heart and let the sun shine in.

So let the sun shine in
face it with a grin.
Smilers never lose
and frowners never win.
So le the sun shine in
face it with a grin
Open up your heart and let the sun shine in.

Remember, life is what you make it :-)

Yes, I will have your baby!

Recent letter received on Lavalife:

I am very attractive to Asian women. I have a good head on my shoulders and would like to have children with an Asian woman. I have a picture if you are serious. If this interests you, get back.

His online dating profile:

Hi ladies:

I must confess, that I do love the companionship of a confident woman. You must be from the Ottawa area and are in need of some passion added to your life once again. I am a very attractive male looking for one sexually charged female for an adventure. I am dating, but want to try something different FWB. I am open to women of a different race or of different ethnic background (never been with either). If you have had children that does not scare me off, I love kids and want some of my own. I do work Shift work in the evenings and am most available during the morning or day.

I am looking for someone safe. Must be clean, very hygienic and loves to cuttle. If you are over 45 years old, please move on.What sets me apart from all the other horny guys on here? Well, I respect and actually listen too what a woman wants and desires are.I am easy to talk too and will not play head games with you.

Send me an email and I guarantee a response. We can chat as long as you wish until you feel comfortable to move on to the next level. I also have a profile in Intimate section if you want more information on me.

Hope to hear back from you.

My good male friend's take on the above letter and profile:

I am very attractive to all women. I have a good head on my dick and can practice making many children with all women. I have picture of my good head if you are serious.

I say, you can't find great love without great risk. My email response:

Yes, I am definitely interested. Please send me your backstage pass.

So here he is, the future father of my children!

Native American Prayer

When it FINALLY hit me that I would lose my mother to an incurable cancer, my heart and soul cried out in anguish and that "little girl" inside of me, with insecure, selfish, little girl needs of love and affection, awakened and wailed.

I realised how much I still needed my mother.

And though I knew it would be difficult, the inevitability was that I would have to let her go, ready or not. So, for every day that I still had my mother, I loved her as deeply and tenderly as I could.

Some people have bitterness and resentment towards their parents during their adult lives. I felt none of this towards my mother and realised that life was too short for blame. Could haves, would haves, should haves. None of this meant anything in the face of death. No point in ruminating over what wasn't perfect, for the Universe knows I was far from it.

I dedicate the following to my beloved mother, Mei Ling, who passed away peacefully on April 24, 2009 after a courageous three-year battle with cancer.

I will always love and miss you, Mom ...

Native American Prayer

I give you this one thought to keep
I am with you still – I do not sleep
I am a thousand winds that blow
I am the diamond glints on snow
I am the sunlight on ripened grain
I am the gentle autumn rain
When you awaken in the morning’s hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight
I am the soft stars that shine at night
Do not think of me as gone
I am with you still – in each new dawn.

Craigslist - Men Seeking Women

Craigslist.org personal ads provide hilarious reading material and great fodder for conversation.

A good lot of men who post seem to live at the bottom of a cesspool, what with their hungry cries for libidinous, hedonistic, no-strings sex. Makes me wonder if and what sort of woman actually responds ...

What ever happened to the romantic date?

Interestingly enough, a friend of mine said something quite funny to me the other day, "Men never know when they're gonna get sex. Women ALWAYS know."

So true, so true ... Can't blame these horny men for their honesty at least. They're just putting their desires out to the Universe ... Here's a selection from today's personal ads:

GL Middle Eastern Guy for a friend with benefits (FWB) - 22
anybody wants to have some extra benefits - 27
Looking for a fuck buddy, I know you're out there - 22
Are you looking to be pleased orally? - 48
Dessert Date Followed by Carnal Pleasure - 30
Bad boy seeks bad girl - 45
Big, Black, Best Fuck of your Life - 29
Submissive/SEXY secreatary/AssiSTANT? - 42
Very Big - 37

Well, not for me ... but to each his own.

But if I was really short on cash, Craigslist would be THE PLACE to go for a "quick fling, no professionals please" or to meet a sweet sugardaddy (all ages available, wow!!) ... or if I really really REALLY wanted to get the inside scoop on sexual technique, I could write to this catch of a fella:

Romantic Touch and Massage for Girls - 52

Learn how to touch and make a man happy ... and enjoy sensual touching and massage by an experienced masseur. This service is available for girls and women 18 years of age and older ... to 30's ... to 40's ... to 50 +

Your teacher is a professional, sensitive, trained, flexible, educated, Caucasian male who is 6-feet tall, 205 lbs, reasonably fit and very clean. Please let me know what you wish to learn and experience.


Winner by far, the award for BEST PERSONAL AD goes to this wonderful gentleman:

An old man but has a young soul looking for his princess - 82

Hello ladies.

82 years old man looking for his soul mate. I can still dance, jump, and even run (though I have to wear my big loose underwear) I don't have much real teeth left but I have a bridge with all set of teeth and trust me my bite hurts. In case anyone ever thought of coming our way, I'll defend you will my teeth and cane. I'm even good in bed since I started my first dose of Viagra and I could take you out for walks. I'm warning you though, I'll have to rest for 10 minutes after each 5 minutes walk. That is what the doctor told me. My heart is not at its best these days, I wonder why!!

Send me a 250% zoom in image of yourself, because I lost my glasses and I need to see how you look like. Failing to do so, might not get you a respond. I don't have much hair left on my head, just a couple white ones. However, I have a chest and a back full of hair and they are all yours.

It might take me a while to respond due to the high amount of emails I'll be getting. If you have a grandfather, it is extra points. I could play chess with him. I hope he is friendly.

Driving Rant #3: Zero satellites

A friend of mine had given me a GPS system for my car last year, worried that I would lose my way on a road trip through the States. It's served me well a few times, even for driving in my own city.

But sometimes, it just plain sucks.

April showers bring May flowers. They also bring no signals. "Zero satellites" ... that is not what I want my GPS to indicate to me while trying to drive off the island on which I live towards a direction that I'm not sure about.

Sure, I had played safe and printed out Googled directions to my friend's house. I decided though as I drove through the dark evening drizzle with wipers going at full blast that this was NOT the time to unclench my two fists from my steering wheel to turn on my little reading light to try to read the printed directions. Too bad too that my start point had changed since I'd printed these out, now taking me over an entirely different bridge.

Then suddenly through the dark gloomy sky ... "Three satellites" ... I now had directions!!

My GPS system spoke to me ... "Turn around at the first possible opportunity". Great, I was on a highway, in fact, on a long bridge going one way. I continued driving.

My GPS system spoke to me again ... "Turn left now". Still on the same bridge, I ignored the sultry voice with the sexy British accent. Again, she spoke to me, "Turn left now". I looked at the GPS route and realised that those "three satellites" were not recognizing my position!

What to do, what to do ... then suddenly, the GPS started recalculating. "Take the next exit" ... but of course, it was too late for me to do this safely.

Modern technology, what would we do without it?

Thank you MagMyPic.com!

I think a little bit of positive thinking can go a long way ... and loads of positive thinking can get you even further :-)