Saturday, February 14, 2009

Who says romance is dead?

Happy Valentine's Day!!

This is the absolute best internet dating email exchange I've ever had!

Subject: Where art thou?
Hi! Long time no speak :( (BTW, I feel absolutely no shame about using smiley symbols.) What have you been up to? Cheers

Subject: Re:Where art thou?

Hey, you stopped writing so I thought you'd either met someone or weren't that interested, or most likely a combination of both ... Sorry to hear it didn't work out ... ;-)

Subject: Re:Re:Where art thou?

Actually, I stopped writing because I didn't "see" you around anymore. I fugured the same about you... Well, the whole Shakespeare reference has taken on an usual turn, wouldn't you say? :-)))

Subject: Re:Re:Re:Where art thou?

Actually, I think thou art mistaken. It is I that hath written to thou most recent, and being not sent nary a response, scurried with sunken heart to thy darkest corners of the world to weep my silken tears.

Subject: Re:Re:Re:Re:Where art thou?

Thine words are like a most jagged sword cutting through my tender heart! I pray for you to let me beg for your forgiveness at your feet...

Subject: What does thou proposeth?

My heart not yet healed herself doth wonder what this young knight have in mind ...

Subject: Re:What does thou proposeth?

I shall propose to use the healing properties of food and wine...

Subject: Re:Re:What does thou proposeth?

I shall collect the pieces of my heart from the hard earthen floor of my dark damp room called sorrow ... If I have success in piecing together the fragments of my heart, I shall send word by swift horse and messenger to perhaps partake in your doth proposed evening of healing.

Subject: Re:Re:Re:What does thou proposeth?

I shall await with baited breath. And in my highest hopes I shall refuse to consume food or drink until such time as your Graciousness may smile upon me - your lowest servant - with favour...

Subject: Re:Re:Re:Re:What does thou proposeth?

Though my fragile heart is held together by mere threads, I will agree to this proposed evening of food and wine ... It intrigues me to meet this man who doth call himself my servant. My governess has forbidden me from temptation of debauchery and has thus placed upon my body a chastity belt. But I will steal away under cover of night in three moon's time on Thursday to meet you outside the castle walls ...

Too bad my knight-in-shining armour still lives with his mother.

"If you lose your way, I will help you find it."