Boggled by the complexity

Taken from the internet:

Men do not necessarily want a committed relationship as a result of mind blowing sex – they are wired differently than women. In her book The Female Brain, neuropsychiatrist Louann Brizendine cites:

“Males have double the brain space and processing power devoted to sex as women … Just as women have an eight-lane superhighway for processing emotion while men have a small country road, men have O'Hare Airport as a hub for processing thoughts about sex whereas women have the airfield nearby that lands small and private planes.”

This means men are driven to have sex whether it means something or not. On the other hand, when women have sex, they generally want it to mean something ...



Interesting point ... and very true. Makes me wonder about commitment and what this word means to an individual. What is your definition of this?

For some, it scares the heebie-jeebies out of them and makes them balk. For others, it is a prerequisite to sex and being vulnerable. What is this game we play of near-and-far? Push-and-pull? Logically, I can understand it, men and women ARE different ... and many self-help dating books cover this "chase". But emotionally, what's it all about? I've never quite been able to wrap my heart around it ...

What ever happened to simplicity?

"I like you. You like me. Let's agree to be open and respectful and to spend some time together ... see where it goes."

When did dating and relationships get so difficult? Sigh ...

You're "G.U."!

I caught up with a friend the other day and we got to talking about chance meetings on the road and the possibility of these leading to real relationships. How often can they actually work?


I suppose there are many factors to consider, including compatibility and of course, the obvious ... emotional, intellectual and sexual attraction ...

Zute then went on to tell me about how he'd met a particularly interesting woman while travelling on the 401, the highway that runs from Toronto to Montreal. On that horribly bleak and rainy evening, the two had met at a rest stop, and needing a break from the difficult driving conditions, they settled down to a very long cup of coffee.

Turned out they shared common interests and related to each other quite well, both having lived through similar life experiences ... and there was evident attraction ... but what didn't work?

Zute: "I was G.U!"

Sally: "What's that?"

Zute: "Geographically unsuitable."

Yup, he never had a chance, living a seven hour drive away. Which makes me wonder ... how do people do long distance relationships?

Personally ... I've been there, done that, don't want to do it again. I want to be able to hold my guy at night when I'm feeling affectionate, or be held when I've had a hard day. Cauliflower ear just ain't the same ...

Those pesky car alarms!

Does anyone ever pay any attention to them? Or do the majority of people react just like me?

"Oh, another annoying car alarm ... the car's not even getting broken into. Why's it going off?"

Recently, the alarm on my car has been going off for no apparent reason (and wind blowing on it does not count). I guess this is karmic payback for making complaints about high, whiny, car alarms or perhaps, it's probably what I'm presently learning about ... The Law of Attraction.

Think about something, FEEL it with enthusiasm and gratitude, then allow yourself to receive it, and you will draw it into your life. Go for the good stuff, folks!

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Mind you, that Law of Attraction kinda explains two recent posts ...

1) The Parking Goddess: I'm always lucky with parking spots 'cause I always *know* I will get one.

2) 24 Hours on Lavalife: The intresting responses to my direct but perhaps *a little harsh* Lavalife profile ... I put out anger, I attracted anger ... LOL!!

24 hours on Lavalife

Every so often, about once a year, I get the penchant to go check out available singles on Lavalife, a well-known online dating service. Why? Albeit my cynicism, I do know of three marriages that have resulted directly from online dating so I guess, don't knock it until you try it, you know ...

Perhaps I no longer possess the patience to sift through potential mates or perhaps I've just reached that age where I've realised, "I'd like to have a man in my life, but I don't NEED a man in my life ..."

I know exactly what I want and what I will not put up with ... and I think I make it quite clear in the start of my profile, what do you think?

PROFILE NAME
"If you instant message me, I will block you"

* ABSOLUTELY NO INSTANT MESSAGING *

If you think I will make an exception for you and instant message you back, you're wrong. I will simply block you. Why? Because you couldn't even read or respect the first sentence of my profile. Relationships are not just about looks so don't contact me based entirely on my photo.

"Wow, you're harsh," you might say but I don't really care what you think. I'm just being frank and honest. Why settle for superficial chit chat from guys who only want the thrill of a quick connection? Maybe this quick sizzle can be exciting for a brief moment but honestly, I much rather prefer a slow burn that mounts into a raging fire that can't be put out ...

And then the rest of my profile is just as straight-forward, including:

"I can do girly-girl and sexy but have no problem being covered with sweat and grime after cycling 100k or running a marathon. "

and

Being able to start sentences with CAPS as well as punctuate and spell properly gets you bonus points. Just please have a photo and be PHYSICALLY FIT ... no double chins and no man-b**bs.

Here are some Instant Messages I received (with original spelling and punctuation) all from different men:

• u look lovely
• 2 things i like abt woman. 1 is they look nice with long hair
• please block me...:)
• hi hwoa re u
• nice face
• hellooo, very nice photo
• hi, where is the party tonight? lol :)
• Nice Eyes, do u have a name? ;)
• oreto_98@hotmail.com
• baby
• sure u don't respond to IMs?
• tough attitude eh!!'
• u look stunning
• you are much too blunt and arrogant

Yes, I think I should date all these men, especially since they've all ignored my blatant "Don't IM me" warning at the top of my profile. And by the amount of one-liners that are look-based, obviously, the phrase "so don't contact me based entirely on my photo" means nothing either.

Can't these men read?

BLOCK!!

Wait, it gets better folks.

Here are some e-mails I received:

subject
hi
message
you are a very sexy lady and i would love to know more about you. you have definitely stimulated my imagination;-)

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subject
(no subject)
message
Please, you should rent a friend from Hertz. Made to measure. Sad profile. You seem like an intelligent women. What are you so fearful of? Take life as it comes. Block me if you may, but I have not intention to write again. I just could not help myself but to react to you sad profile.

Michael.

Note: I wrote Michael back and sent him hugs and of course he wrote me back telling me that I don't need to use a "false profile" to screen out dead wood. Michael, I mean every word that's in my profile, especially the harsh ones, nothing fake about my profile or about me. Sorry you prefer to have a more angelic image of me ...

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Here's my favourite:

subject
(no subject)
message
Please block me y do men call women bitches you are perfact example i feel sorry for you

Note: Obviously, this last winner hasn't read Lavalife's Code of Ethics which include the following two phrases:

I will treat fellow Lavalife members with dignity and respect
I will not engage in any form of harassment or abusive behaviour

Oh, lookie dat ... a cool little icon just below his wonderful letter with some useful words written on it:

REPORT MEMBER

The Facebook Break-Up

On the popular social networking platform Facebook, we can indicate "relationship status" and have several choices:

Single
In a relationship
Engaged
Married
It's complicated
In an open relationship

Changes of relationship status are indicated by whole or broken hearts and listed on the "mini-feed". Do these status updates and red hearts mean anything? And what does the Facebook public think about these?

I was recently engaged to Nestor D. Dinosaur and received an e-mail via Facebook congratulating me on said event, though my friend also asked if this could be a joke (because of the name). No ... no joke ... but I'm surprised my friend's excitement didn't cause her to click on the link to see the handsome red and green face of my future husband.

Nestor and I have since parted ways amicably, but I see that he is not quite yet over me, as he is still listed as "Engaged". (Nestor: That's alright ... I will ALWAYS love you ...)

I have a friend who recently listed himself as married ... to his own brother. I wonder if anyone noticed that one? I've also seen this same friend engaged, married, and broken up all in the same day.

Another friend, totally enthralled with her new relationship, happily decided to announce their "love" through Facebook ... This new couple then listed themselves as "In a relationship" until one day, after a particular lover's spat, she discovered he'd changed his relationship status and in fact, no longer even had one.

Boyfriend: "Yes, we're still dating but I don't want certain people on Facebook to know."

Hmm, interesting ... Not comfortable with this new turn of events and his recent treatment of her, she called me up for some "girl talk".

Irongoddess: But have you talked to him about how you feel?

Girlfriend: No, he's been avoiding me and I'm sick of it. I've given him lots of time and space to be in his cave and I don't want to be here when he comes out. Look at my Facebook status.

"SINGLE"

Irongoddess: "Oh my gosh, does he know?"

Girlfriend: "No, I can't be bothered having THE TALK."

Bing! And there you have it, folks, the Facebook Break-Up!

Personally, I'd love to be in a relationship with Bamsen Bacchus, a super cute Swedish bear. Recently, I saw him listed as "In an open relationship". I wondered if Facebook would allow more than one linking to those in an open relationship and thought about asking him out, but dang, Bamsen's status recently changed to "It's complicated".

Sigh ... I guess Bamsen and I are not yet meant to be ... but I'll keep watching my Facebook and hope that one day I'll see a broken little red heart in my news with the words:

"Bamsen Bacchus is no longer in a relationship."

The Parking Goddess

I've always been quite lucky with parking. I don't know why. I just am ... and I've never questioned it. I hear friends complaining about not finding parking all the time but I've rarely ever felt frustrated about not being able to find a prime parking spot.

Only on the odd occasion have I had to circle around looking for that "non-existant" parking spot to which my friends often allude. Most of the time though, I find parking right in front of where I need to be, or the first place I try.

The Parking Goddess and I have a close relationship and I have always felt she was on my side. And I know she's not a figment of my imagination either as I Googled her and this is what she looks like:

Pretty isn't she? And she's my friend ...

Why do guys measure their cocks?

Women measure their bust so they can know what bra size to buy ... but what is it with men and their fascination with cock size?

Mind you, I can't say I've surveyed all my male friends if they have or haven't and by golly, you won't see me asking a complete stranger this question ... but the guys I have asked at one time or other in my past have all admitted to doing this.

Oh ... correction ... all but one, who actually made a very interesting remark recently when I brought up this subject.

"Perhaps men measure themselves because they feel insecure and need some sort of validation. I never have. I'm made the way I'm made. "

Hmm ... interesting viewpoint considering he is ... ahem ... endowed.

Which makes me wonder ... how long are my nipples?

When writing up a "to do" list is on my "to do" list ...

My life always seem to be in hyper drive. From time to time, I'll remark to friends how I'm going to slow down and relax a bit ... They all say with sarcasm, "Yup."

I guess they know me too well. I guess I'll always be a projects girl ... When I finish something, I feel like I've got to take on another challenge. Or when something doesn't challenge me anymore and has become just part of my "regular hectic routine", I take on an even bigger one at the same time so I can perfect multi-tasking. How many plates can I spin simultaneously?

OH!!

Do you shave?

I had an interesting conversation with a guy friend who recently started dating a very sweet girl. All is fine and dandy with this new love of his, except for one thing.

"She's all bushy and I don't know how to ask her to shave it."

Frankly, I hadn't a clue how to respond since I don't know her or their relationship too well. I only know how I like to keep mine ... which I won't tell you ... but ahem ... how does one approach the subject of pubic hair politely?

Should one pretend to cough up a hairball while giving oral sex? Or just fake the simple one annoying hair in the back of the throat that just won't unstick? On second thought, this is too often the case, so no faking would be required. What would be a clear enough indication that "something must be done"?

My friend's dilemma got me thinking ... I wonder what percentage of the female population shave/trim their pussy hair? I tried to take a glance-about at the women's showers at the local YMCA the other day ... It doesn't seem like it's the vast majority, but of course, this was only a very quick summary of a few girls ... ahem, I didn't want to come across as a perv ...

Men, what do you like? How much does this matter to you?

I haven't had sex since ...

At a recent get-together with friends, the subject of sexual activity, rather, inactivity came up:

Friend #1:
"It's so sad, I bought a mega stash of those premium super thin Japanese condoms early this year and I still haven't even used one of them! Great, I'm probably never gonna get to use them all and then they'll expire."

Friend #2:
"Umm ... I've actually had some that did ..."